CARE MAP METHOD™
Au Pair · Work Agreement

Au pair house rules: what to put in your family handbook

Most au pair rematches trace back to expectations nobody wrote down. A clear handbook — shared before arrival — is the single best predictor of a good year.

Tammy Gold, LCSWSecrets of the Nanny Whisperer by Tammy Gold, published by Penguin
By Tammy Gold, LCSW
Author of Secrets of the Nanny Whisperer (Penguin)
Tammy Gold, LCSW, MSW
Columbia University
20 years in childcare placement & training

Book an hour with Tammy — $189 →

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Start with what the program requires

What your handbook should cover

  1. The weekly schedule — and how changes are communicated
  2. Duties — meals, school runs, children's laundry and rooms, activities
  3. The car — when it's available, rules, and who pays for what
  4. Curfew and guests — decided before arrival, not after the first late night
  5. Phone use during working hours
  6. Family life — meals, holidays, and when they're welcome versus off duty
  7. A weekly check-in — the habit that prevents most rematches
Tammy Gold, LCSW, licensed clinical social workerSecrets of the Nanny Whisperer by Tammy Gold, published by Penguin
FROM THE AUTHOR OF SECRETS OF THE NANNY WHISPERER

Guidance from the therapist who wrote the Penguin book on hiring a nanny

Tammy Gold, LCSW, spent years matching families with nannies before writing Secrets of the Nanny Whisperer (Penguin). Today she works beside families, and their agencies, as a neutral expert: defining the job, interviewing candidates, checking references and setting up the first 30 days.

Book an hour with Tammy — $189 →  Press and media

Share it before they arrive

Send the handbook during matching, so your au pair chooses your family knowing the real job. The first two weeks · Choosing an au pair agency.

What Tammy does with you

Book an hour and Tammy works through whichever step you’re on — with you, and where it helps, directly with your candidate.

Define the job
Duties, hours, and the kind of person your family needs — written down before you look.
Interview candidates
Tammy joins or leads the interview as a second set of eyes and ears.
Check references
Targeted calls that get past “she was great.”
Plan the trial
A structured trial shift, and a debrief on what it showed you.
Create the work agreement
Duties, schedule, pay terms, time off, and house rules in writing.
Onboard well
A first-30-days plan, set up with your new caregiver on the call.
A NEUTRAL EXPERT ON YOUR SIDE

Write the handbook with Tammy

One hour to build your house rules — and set the tone for the year.

EXPERT SESSION · 60 MINUTES

$189

  • Draft house rules within program limits
  • Plan the first two weeks
  • Prepare for the hard conversations before they happen
Book an hour with Tammy →
FREE

The Nanny Hiring Kit

Screening call, reference questions, clinical interview, and trial-day checklist.

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Questions first? Text (818) 308-1358 · info@caremapmethod.com

Tammy is not an au pair agency and has no affiliation with, or financial interest in, any sponsor. Legal, tax, visa, and licensing questions belong with the appropriate professional or agency.