Au Pair · Choosing

How to choose an au pair

Candidates are warm, eager, and polished on video. Almost all of them. What separates a good year from a rematch is what you learn beneath that first impression.

Tammy Gold, LCSWSecrets of the Nanny Whisperer by Tammy Gold, published by Penguin
By Tammy Gold, LCSW
Author of Secrets of the Nanny Whisperer (Penguin)
Tammy Gold, LCSW, MSW
Columbia University
20 years in childcare
As seen inTODAYGood Morning AmericaCBSThe New York TimesThe Wall Street JournalTIMEWatch the reel →
AU PAIR HANDBOOKAu pair house rules & handbook
CHOOSING A SPONSORHow to choose an au pair agency
Tammy Gold, LCSW, licensed clinical social workerSecrets of the Nanny Whisperer by Tammy Gold, published by Penguin
FROM THE AUTHOR OF SECRETS OF THE NANNY WHISPERER

Guidance from the therapist who wrote the Penguin book on hiring a nanny

Tammy Gold, LCSW, spent years matching families with nannies before writing Secrets of the Nanny Whisperer (Penguin). Today she works beside families, and their agencies, as a neutral expert: defining the job, interviewing candidates, checking references and setting up the first 30 days.

Book an hour with Tammy — $189 →  Press and media

THE CARE MAP METHOD™ FOR AU PAIR
MAP
Decide
MATCH
Choose
MERGE
Start well
MANAGE
Keep it working

Interview for experience, not enthusiasm

Look past the video call

Speak with previous childcare references directly, not only the agency's summary. Ask about specific situations. Understand what the sponsor agency's screening does and doesn't cover — it verifies eligibility, but it can't tell you how this person will handle your particular child.

Have several conversations, including one with your children present if possible. Watch how they engage, not just what they say.

Be honest about your family

Describe the hard parts of the job clearly — the difficult bedtime, the long Tuesdays, the child who tests boundaries. The best matches come from candidates who knew the real job and chose it anyway.

Map Before You Act™

Choosing between candidates?

A Care Map call maps what your family needs so you can evaluate candidates against it, not against how well they present on video.

ONE-TIME

Care Map Call

$189

  • 60 minutes with Tammy Gold, LCSW
  • Your Care Map plan for next steps
  • The Care Map system for your situation
Book a Care Map call →
ONGOING · MONTHLY

Childcare Expert Access

$150 / month

  • A 45-minute call every month
  • Bring your caregiver — work it out together
  • The full Care Map download library
  • Support for as long as your child is in care
See how it works →

Questions first? Text (818) 308-1358 or email info@caremapmethod.com

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