CARE MAP METHOD™

Video · Childcare · Match

Your reference check is asking the wrong questions

Most reference calls tell you about the reference, not the nanny. The questions families instinctively ask are built to produce polite, useless answers.

Tammy Gold, LCSW, MSW

Columbia University

20 years placing & training nannies

Author, Secrets of the Nanny Whisperer (Penguin)

As seen inTODAYGood Morning AmericaCBSThe New York TimesThe Wall Street JournalTIMEWatch the reel →

30-SECOND VIDEO · CHILDCARE · MATCH STAGE

Closed questions get you nothing

01“Did you like her?” — “Yes, we loved her.” But you are not them.
02“Did she do her job well?” — “Always.” But your standards may differ.
03“Did your kids like her?” — “Very much.” But your children are different.
04Ask instead: “How would you describe her?” and “What exactly did she do all day?”

CARE MAP INSIGHT™

Open-ended questions force concrete examples. Closed ones hand you an opinion.

A therapist's rule: lead with how and why, never with did.

More questions that get past the polite answer

“How did she respond when a child was upset? Give me a specific example.”
“What did she do when she disagreed with something you asked?”
“What kind of family would not be a good fit for her?”
“If you moved to a new city, would you try to bring her with you?”

FREE

The Nanny Hiring Kit

The screening call, reference questions, clinical interview, and trial-day checklist.

Download free ↓

WORK WITH TAMMY

A second set of eyes and ears

Tammy joins your interviews, reference calls, and onboarding. $189 / 60 min.

Or text (818) 308-1358

Keep going

Full list of reference questions Tammy makes the reference calls Nanny background checks How to interview a nanny All videos All guides