Therapy for moms carrying the mental load

Who this is for

This page is for mothers of children of any age, whether you work outside the home or not, partnered or parenting solo.

You might notice that:

• a running to-do list in your head that never switches off
• being the default parent for everything
• resentment toward a partner who “helps” but doesn’t own anything
• no time that’s truly yours, and guilt when you take some
• losing track of who you were before kids
• snapping, then replaying it at night

This is individual therapy for you. It isn’t parent coaching or couples therapy. If the load is really a childcare problem, hands-on help choosing a nanny or daycare is Care Map coaching, a separate service that isn’t billed to insurance.

What we might work on

• Making the invisible work visible: listing what you actually carry
• Handing off whole jobs, not single tasks, so you’re not managing the help
• Lowering standards on purpose in a few places
• Talking with your partner about fairness without starting a fight
• Guilt about time for yourself, and protecting some anyway
• Your identity beyond “mom”: work, friendships, interests
• Childcare and support decisions, where my nanny and daycare background helps

Two 30-second videos for tired moms

Thirty seconds each, no sound needed. Tap play, or read the text on each video’s page.

How the Care Map Method™ shapes our sessions

The Care Map Method™ is the framework I use to organize our work, alongside a standard clinical assessment. It isn’t a separate tested treatment. It keeps four kinds of needs in view:

Then we work in four steps:

1. Map the emotion and trigger. We list everything you carry for one week, including the thinking and remembering, not only the doing.
2. Match the need with a strategy. We name the need underneath, such as rest, fairness or recognition, and choose one job to hand off completely or drop.
3. Merge the strategy into daily life. We decide when the hand-off happens and what “done” means, and put it on the calendar.
4. Manage communication and responses. We script and rehearse the conversation with your partner or family, then review how it went and pick the next job.

Hand off one whole job

Choose one recurring job, like school forms, the pediatrician or the weekly groceries. Hand over the whole thing: noticing it’s due, planning, doing and following up. Agree on what “done” looks like, then resist re-checking for two weeks. It will be done differently. That’s part of the deal.

How we’ll look at progress

We’ll choose markers that fit you, such as:

• how many jobs you’ve handed off completely
• hours a week that are yours
• how often you snap or feel resentment spike
• a one-to-ten rating of how heavy the week feels

We check these every few sessions and change the plan if something isn’t helping. I can’t promise a particular result; we focus on what is in your hands.

Sessions, licenses and insurance

Sessions are online by video for adults who are physically located in California, New Jersey, Oregon or Maine during each session. Licenses: California LCSW #136364; New Jersey LCSW #44SC05528100; Oregon LCSW #L16530; Maine LCSW #LC26593.

Through Alma, I’m in network with Aetna, Cigna, Carelon, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts, and Optum plans including UnitedHealthcare, Oscar and Oxford. Coverage depends on your specific plan, not only the insurance company’s name. Alma checks it before your first session, including any copay or deductible, and handles the billing. How using insurance works.

Check Insurance and Availability on Alma →

Questions people ask

What is the mental load?

It’s the planning, remembering and organizing behind family life: knowing what needs to happen, when, and who will do it. It’s often invisible, so it isn’t counted when couples divide chores, which is why it can feel so unfair.

My partner helps. Why am I still so tired?

Help often still leaves you as the manager: noticing, asking and checking. Handing off ownership of whole jobs is what lightens the load. We’ll work on how to ask for that.

Is mom burnout the same as depression?

They can overlap and look alike. In our first session I’ll ask about mood, sleep and energy so we know what we’re working with.

Can we talk about childcare in therapy?

Yes, as part of lightening your load. If you want hands-on help hiring a nanny or choosing a daycare, that’s Care Map coaching, a separate service that isn’t billed to insurance.

Do you take my insurance?

I see clients through Alma, and through Alma I’m in network with Aetna, Cigna, Carelon, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts, and Optum plans including UnitedHealthcare, Oscar and Oxford. Coverage still depends on your specific plan. Alma checks it before your first appointment, including any copay or deductible. Please share plan and health details through Alma’s secure intake, not by text or email.

Where do I need to be during sessions?

Sessions are online by video, and you need to be physically in California, New Jersey, Oregon or Maine during each one. Your insurance plan can come from another state; what matters for licensing is where you are during the session. Alma checks whether your plan covers sessions with me.

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