Choosing a Nanny

What to look for in a nanny

Years of experience and a polished résumé tell you less than you'd think. These are the qualities that actually predict whether someone will care for your child well.

Tammy Gold, LCSWSecrets of the Nanny Whisperer by Tammy Gold, published by Penguin
By Tammy Gold, LCSW
Author of Secrets of the Nanny Whisperer (Penguin)
Tammy Gold, LCSW, MSW
Columbia University
20 years placing & training nannies
As seen inTODAYGood Morning AmericaCBSThe New York TimesThe Wall Street JournalTIMEWatch the reel →

The qualities that matter most

  1. Warmth that's initiated — she reaches toward your child rather than waiting to be approached
  2. Calm judgment — steady and specific when something goes wrong
  3. Self-awareness — she can name a mistake and what she learned from it
  4. Compatible philosophy — discipline, screens, and structure close to yours
  5. Developmental understanding — she engages your child at their age, not a generic one
  6. Reliability — consistent, on time, and honest about her limits
  7. Communication — tells you things before you have to ask
  8. Fit with your particular child — the temperament your child needs, not a generic ideal

How to see these qualities

Most of them won't show up in an interview. Warmth and judgment are visible in how a candidate talks about a child they've loved, in well-asked reference questions, and above all in a paid trial day with your child.

Tammy Gold, LCSW, licensed clinical social workerSecrets of the Nanny Whisperer by Tammy Gold, published by Penguin
FROM THE AUTHOR OF SECRETS OF THE NANNY WHISPERER

Guidance from the therapist who wrote the Penguin book on hiring a nanny

Tammy Gold, LCSW, spent years matching families with nannies before writing Secrets of the Nanny Whisperer (Penguin). Today she works beside families, and their agencies, as a neutral expert: defining the job, interviewing candidates, checking references and setting up the first 30 days.

Book an hour with Tammy — $189 →  Press and media

Map Before You Act™

Not sure what your child needs in a nanny?

A Care Map assessment starts with your child, then defines the person — before you meet anyone.

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The Nanny Hiring Kit

Screening call, reference questions, clinical interview, trial-day checklist.

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WORK WITH A NANNY EXPERT

A second set of eyes and ears

Tammy joins your interviews, reference calls, trial debriefs, and onboarding. $189 / 60 min.

Book Tammy →

Or text (818) 308-1358 · info@caremapmethod.com

Tammy provides expert guidance; she is not a placement agency and does not run background checks. Hiring decisions remain your family’s.

THE COMPLETE NANNY HIRING GUIDE

Every step, in order

  1. 01How to hire a nanny (start here)
  2. 02Nanny job description
  3. 03First time hiring a nanny
  4. 04What to look for in a nanny — you are here
  5. 05How to find a good nanny
  6. 06Using a nanny agency
  7. 07Nanny screening process
  8. 08Nanny phone interview questions
  9. 09Nanny reference check questions
  10. 10Nanny interview questions
  11. 11How to interview a nanny
  12. 12Nanny interview red flags
  13. 13Nanny background check
  14. 14Nanny trial day
  15. 15Nanny contract
  16. 16Nanny onboarding: first 30 days
  17. 17How to manage a nanny
  18. 18Nanny cams & trust
  19. 19Nanny hiring consultant
  20. 20Nanny consultant Los Angeles