Endings

When your nanny quits: the next 72 hours, and how to tell your child

Whether it's two weeks' notice or a text the night before, a nanny leaving can upend your week and your child's world. Here's what to do first.

Tammy Gold, LCSWSecrets of the Nanny Whisperer by Tammy Gold, published by Penguin
By Tammy Gold, LCSW
Author of Secrets of the Nanny Whisperer (Penguin)
Tammy Gold, LCSW, MSW
Columbia University
20 years placing & training nannies

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The first 72 hours

  1. Line up backup care: a partner, a relative, a sitter, an agency temp, or a backup-care benefit through work
  2. Handle final pay promptly; some states set deadlines for a final paycheck, so check yours
  3. Collect keys, codes and car seats, and change codes if needed
  4. If the parting is amicable, ask for a short exit conversation

Telling your child

Tammy Gold, LCSW, licensed clinical social workerSecrets of the Nanny Whisperer by Tammy Gold, published by Penguin
FROM THE AUTHOR OF SECRETS OF THE NANNY WHISPERER

Guidance from the therapist who wrote the Penguin book on hiring a nanny

Tammy Gold, LCSW, spent years matching families with nannies before writing Secrets of the Nanny Whisperer (Penguin). Today she works beside families, and their agencies, as a neutral expert: defining the job, interviewing candidates, checking references and setting up the first 30 days.

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Learn from it before you hire again

Was it pay, hours, the job growing, or a mismatch? An honest look now makes the next match stronger. Update your job description, then start the hiring process with those lessons in hand.

Common questions

How much notice should a nanny give?

Whatever your agreement says, often two weeks. If there's no agreement, write one for your next hire.

Should I let her say goodbye to my child?

If the parting is safe and friendly, yes. A goodbye helps children understand that people leave without it being their fault.

She quit with no notice. Do I still pay her?

Pay for all hours worked. Final-pay rules vary by state, so check yours.

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Tammy is not a placement agency and has no affiliation with, or financial interest in, any agency, daycare or payroll service. She provides independent expert guidance; decisions remain your family’s. Legal, tax and licensing questions belong with the appropriate professional or state agency.

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THE COMPLETE NANNY HIRING GUIDE

Every step, in order

  1. 01How to hire a nanny (start here)
  2. 02Nanny job description
  3. 03First time hiring a nanny
  4. 04What to look for in a nanny
  5. 05How to find a good nanny
  6. 06Using a nanny agency
  7. 07Nanny screening process
  8. 08Nanny phone interview questions
  9. 09Nanny reference check questions
  10. 10Nanny interview questions
  11. 11How to interview a nanny
  12. 12Nanny interview red flags
  13. 13Nanny background check
  14. 14Nanny trial day
  15. 15Nanny contract
  16. 16Nanny onboarding: first 30 days
  17. 17How to manage a nanny
  18. 18Nanny cams & trust
  19. 19Nanny hiring consultant
  20. 20Nanny consultant Los Angeles